A rant in line

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Monday, 17 November 2008

Ranting is a difficult thing to keep up but finding things to rant about is easy and I find myself being able to get wound up about anything, from the price of butter to the way folk walk in the streets. What is it with people that can’t simply get out of the way, who are those dawdling maniacs who wander aimless as clouds directly into my path, or the groups who selfishly decide to stop unaware of the rest of us and have a chat blocking the way? And what about the mothers with prams who plough with vicious intent through crowded streets or the dog walkers who seem intent to trip me up with their unruly pets on strung-out trip rope leashes?

Am I the only one who’s made livid by some business oaf on his phone, not even keeping eye contact as he walks into people or the bag swinging teenagers who slam into me as they shamble around in their falling down jeans? It is bad enough that butter is now almost the same price as gold ounce for ounce without having to do daily battle just to navigate down the streets and buy some? Fools who queue for cash points directly across the pavement, or the hassling morons who can’t wait to get on a bus before I get off, couples who aimlessly walk arm in arm as if they own the bloody streets and tourists who like to stop, just about anywhere, and take stupid photo’s of each other standing in front of some building or view?

I caught myself shouting on a bus the other day at some fool who wouldn’t move down a little further into the bus, making me and the other passengers all huddle in a tiny space as he chatted to his friend on his phone. He moved when I raised my voice but then so did the rest of the passengers, away from me, and I realised that I had become one of those people that wind other people up. That I had become one of the boorish selfish ones, blind to the fact that there are thousands of us all on the streets at any one time and ignoring the fact that the streets are a public space, for all of us. I had become the thing I loathed.

But how had this happened? I had forgotten my manners, that’s how. I thought that I was more important that the others around me, I stopped being considerate for a moment and fell into the trap of being a selfish fool. My shame lasted just long enough for me to reflect on how my little moments of anger had ganged up on me, had fed some feeling of being aggrieved and then allowed my outburst to scare some poor man, just trying to get home on the bus. Finally when I unpacked my butter at home, I smiled and realised that anger used constructively can be useful, but when I allow my temper to get the better of me then I get exactly what I deserve.